Due to my seemingly mechanical dissatisfaction with my own shitty writing, combined with some slight practice on the part of implementing description and a brief release from the tendrils of Writer's Block (my bitch, and a skank from fucking hell), I've begun the slow, painful process of re-re-writing one of my stories, Novus Ordo Seclorum.

I'm going to literally spend hours and hours revising the entire piece of shit; I've already been at work on chapter 1 since Tuesday, stuffing description and attempts at proper flow and dialogue up its ass almost nonstop during my free time, and now it (chapter 1) has been almost completely and dynamically re-written. It only needs a few more revisions before I can bear to look at it again.

Some chapters will be revised more than others; chapter 2 borders on somewhat bearable as a transitional, but needs some work. Chapter 3 is probably the one most well off in its current published state; chapter 4 is so-so, chapters 5, and 6 and 7 are a fucking disaster, and 8 is such a pathetic attempt at a filler, and at filthy satirical slapstick humor, that I don't know just what its final fate will be. And as for chapter 9, published only this past March, I'd call it more of a rough draft than anything else.

Why should you even be giving a shit about any of this, you may ask? Well, you shoudn't. I just felt like rambling about how awful my writing will always be in my own eyes, and about the mere fact that neither I nor my old habits have yet died.

The final nails have yet to finish hammering themselves into my literary coffin, though sometimes I just wish they'd hurry up and get on with it so I could find a more worthwhile hobby.

My own writing disgusts me the more I look back at it. But I just don't stop. Even with WB hindering me, shitty new ideas never cease flowing through my head at any time. And all I can do is revise, revise, and revise some more. Why? I have no fucking clue.

So anyway, this time I'm really going to be pushing it, even though someday I know I'll look back at the final result and spit on it.